The new articles about the less sleeping time is bothering me a lot since I have been a long sleeper for many years. I started to track back my time and tried to think if I am always a long sleeper.
I couldn't be when I was in China. The school time was in a firmed schedule and I wasn't allow to be late. So for 18 years of my life, I woke up at 6 a.m. and went to bed at 10 p.m. which was a good 8 hours for a non-adult. My memories of my early 20s are blurry. I can't remember how long I slept during that time, but I do remember early classes at 8 a.m. As a college student, I never slept before 10 p.m. so I could guess that most my sleep time was in 8 hours. Only one time that I remember I slept for so long was when I was 25 years old. I slept 14 hours.
But how come that I sleep for so long now? I thought about the time when I was depressed and struggled with life. I did have a period of time that the only thing I did was sleep. The reason? To reduce the pressures. Some people turns to drugs, alcohol, food or spending money to reduce the stress. I perfect spending money when I have the money to spend. But I didn't have any money during that time, so I choose to sleep. That was the best way for me to stop thinking.
Maybe because of that, sleep become a safe spot for me. I feel happy, warm, safe and worry free when I go to bed. I love to stay in sleep and let my subconscious mind take me to the wonderland. And it did often times. I often enjoyed the dreams that I had, those strange, unrealistic, sometimes scary but magic dreams. The end of the world, the airplane crash, the killing, the earthquake, the universe, the another dimension, the unreal memories of the past, the unsure future, the ghost, the strange creatures, the loved ones, the hated ones.....so many wonderful but strange things happen in my dream. And, I do dream every night. I actually do have a dream log which I write down the dreams that I can remember.
However, having wonderful dream doesn't make me want to sleep for 10 hours or more because I do have wonderful dreams even when I sleep 5 hours. So I wanted to find out if I am normal or not.
I searched "sleep more than 10 hours" online, and turns out I am not the only one. And, there is a disorder called "Excessive Sleeper". I was exciting to find that because finally I wasn't just lazy!! I read about it, and learned the excessive sleepers sleep 10 -12 hours per night, just like me. I wanted to believe that I have this disorder which I just normally need to sleep 10-12 hours. But, somehow I feel that is just a excuse for myself.
From my intuition, I think the real reason for me to sleep that long is there is no motivation in my daily life. I do have a lot of things to do everyday, but nothing excites me. Nothing that I have to do, nothing make me wake up in the morning and be exciting about the new day. I am still searching for the way to be where I wanted to be. It takes patient and it takes time. I just have to always remind myself that and keep moving forward. And, maybe one day, all I need is 6 hours of sleep.