I miss her so much, and I miss my grandpa so much as well.
I called home to say happy birthday to her. She and rest of family were going to have a birthday lunch at a local restaurant. Our talk was short but sweet. I miss her. I miss everything about her. When we done with talking, she forget to hang up her cellphone. I could still hear her talking with my uncle. I heard my uncle was yelling at her for being late. And, my heart hurt.
Then, I started to cry. I don't know why I was crying for. Because my uncle was yelling at her? Because he was treading someone I love so much badly? Because I am powerless to change anything? Because I couldn't do anything to stop that or make that better? Because I am not there for her? Because if I were there, no one can ever yell at her?
It was a such mixed emotion.
Sometimes, I do wish I never left home. I could had so much time to share with them. I wish I didn't miss all those years of living without them in my life 'cause I know I will lose them one day. They will be gone and never come back one day. And the time I lost, couldn't get back even I am the richest person in the world.
But, I can't change the reality. I can't change what already happened and I can't even change what is happing but only can make is a little bit easier.
Grandma and Grandpa, you know that I love you deepest and most. You will always have my heart. I will always be your little girl. I will never leave you. I love you both so so so much.
Happy great 90th birthday, grandma!!!!! And please be happy and be health!!!
I love you, grandma. I love you, grandpa.