"I smile. I use my American face. That's the face American think is Chinese, the one they cannot understand. But inside i am becoming ashamed. I am ashamed she is ashamed. Because she is my daughter and I am proud of her, and i am her mother but she is not proud of me."
"It's hard to keep your Chinese face in America. At the beginning, before I even arrived, I had to hide my true self. I paid an American-raised Chinese girl in peking to show me how. "In America," she said, "you cannot say you want to live there forever. If you are Chinese, you must say you admire their schools, their way of thinking. You must say you want to be a scholar and come back to teach Chinese people what you have learned."
"What should I say I want to learn?" I asked. "If they ask me questions, if I cannot answer..." "Religion, you must say you want to study religion," said this smart girl. "Americans all have different ideas about religion, so there are no right and wrong answers. Say to them, I'm going for God's sake, and they will respect you."
"See here, you should have a baby. Boy or girl, it doesn't matter in the United States. Neither will take care of you in your old age, isn't that true?" And we both laughed.
"This was Old St.Mary's. Under the church sign, in handwritten Chinese characters, someone had added:" A Chinese Ceremony to Save Ghosts form Spiritual Unrest 7 A.M and 8:30 A.M."..........And then I saw another sign across the street. It was painted on the outside of a short building:" Save Today for Tomorrow, at Bank of America." And I thought to myself, This is where American people worship......Today that church is the same size, but where that short bank used to be, now there is a tall building, fifty stories high, where you and your husband-to-be work and look down on everybody."