Flower from Japan. It's really pertty. I don't think I never see one like this before, maybe even I saw one, I don't remember now. Beautiful flower die early. It just here for this time, and it just here for you.
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I am very tired today. In fact, I have being tired from couple weeks ago. I have a lot of studys and works to do everyday. I never have any breaks and weekends. Well, I don't really need a break or something. I know what I need is just him, and only him can make me relax and feel happy inside of my deep heart.
Maybe I will keep myself very tired until the day I meet him again. I miss him too much to be relaxing. One of my friend said " if she is clear, everything will be good." Clear? Who is not clear? Please don't judge people using the word clear or dirty. Everybody is clear, no one is dirty. I really don't perfect people saying that. I am not trying to offence anyone, but if you judge people by clear or dirty. You are the one who is dirty, you have dirty mind to judge other people.
So, my dear friends, don't judge other people by clear or dirty. Please. Raining so hard this morning. There was not so many customers. It looked so warm in nail salon by all the steam on the window. I felt the Christmas is coming. Well, too early to say that, but the autumn is coming. After the hard rain, I saw the first red spot of this year. Across the street of nail salon, there was a tall tree with red spot on. That's the first group of red leaves of this autumn for me. En... It is almost end of Sep. Why I spend this month alone again? Why my beautiful autumn always has meaningless color? The first red lighted up my heart only a second. A second of warm.
I guess I am listening to sad songs too much those days, but I do think happy songs are not as beautiful as sad songs. So many sad people than happy people now, right? And, so many people are depressing about life, love and people. Well, after all, life is same for everyone.
It is good time for crying with all those falling red maple leaves in the autumn. Autumn should be the most lovely season of the year. Couples who are deeply in love should holding each other's hands and walking under the falling leave trees. The truth is coolies. So, please cry me a river. And, for all those happy people and happy couples, please keep happiness with you. Don't waste your time on fighting. Ne!!!! Well, school began already. My life is same as last fall with full of depression, tears and misses. I asked myself why God let me go tough this one more time. Maybe I failed last time, maybe he wants me to know something which I think I won't know after a while. The only thing that I know is that GOD gave me so many chance to have a good life and I gave those chances away for the one I think is most important. Now, I realize that I have to accept what God gave to me to keep the most important one. Even I have same emotional stress as last fall, I can't fail to my life once more. For the one who I loved deep, I have to be strong and well. He told me that this is my turning point of my life. What kind of person that I am gonna be, it's all depend on now. I believe him much. Do the right thing, for both of us. Complaining Too MuchYou called me in the middle of night and told me to listen to this song "Complaining Too Much". You asked me to read those lines for you, and I couldn't stop crying while I read them to you.
For all my friends and his friends who are suffering in long distance relationships. I wish all of us the best. Languidly the autumn has come Don't be tricked by the day time warmness You'll surely need your court 'cause it's not really summer time I cut my finger nails too short I had a nightmare it was last night Too trouble taking crazy train Oh, it was so busy day "You complaining too much" You will say that to me With your sweet angel smile "You complaining too much" You will say that to me with your gauzy hair Oh, I miss you so much I wanna hear your voice Oh, I miss you so much We've done many things together Like, every weekend we went to northem places We were all alone Now those memories make me cry I thought I saw your face in my room I thought I heard your laughing voices You were always walking very fast I just couldn't follow you "You complaining too much" You will say that to me With your sweet angel smile "You complaining too much" You will say that to me With your gauzy hair Oh, I miss you so much I wanna hear your voice Oh, I miss you too much In old Chinese saying, if you are in the year which has same animal with the year you were born, you will have bad lucky. Many bad people will try to hurt you from behind. That is so truth for me. This year is monkey year and that's my own year.
From beginning of this year, some people try to hurt me, I fought with them for a while. And, they gave up later. And, now, some people try to hurt me again. I know what they wanna, and I know they are hoping to see me upset and mad because of them. Well, I am not low life person as them. I am not gonna fought with them and give them what they wanna. I always try to be nice to people and make them like me. I think I don't need make everybody likes me and I am fine with hating too. So, if they won't be nice to me, I don't need care about them at all. I am not gonna be lose or unhappy because of them. I have my life and my way. If they don't like me, the friends I have, the people I hang out with, just deal it by themselves. I have no need change for them. Plus, I have many good friends to hang out with. And, I sure have people who love me deep and always stand by my side. I am not afraid of those people and my won year. The summer is almost gone. Many studnets and friends came back to School already, and the school is gonna start in two days. This summer was wonderful for me. I had good time with Toshi, Masa, Sugi, K_andy and other people who left here for summer. We went to NY, RI and NJ together and did a lot of fun things. It was a good time, good sun, good weather, good love, good memories.
I met Risa and Miki yesterday, and I was very happy to see them. They didn't change much at all, Risa just change her hair style and color. We went to Sakura for diner and had good time together. Druing that night, I went walk with Sugi and Masa. It was my frist time walk to downtown and it was good time. I really appreciate what they did for me. I can only be open like that to them. We met Tomoasu and Hisatomi ( Maybe wrong spell, sorry) later, and we spend time together for a while. I wasn't so happy because of missing too much, so I wasn't so nice to them. Four of them walked me home later, but I didn't even say thanks to them. I feel bad now. I will apologize and thanks to them next time I saw them. My stomach is not so well. I think she is sad becasue I was sad. She get affect by my emotion. Sorry ne!!! Only two days left until Septmber. I will miss this summer a lot. I had wonderful momries and loved spend every short time with Toshi. Danm, I miss him a lot. Anyway, the school is gonna start!!! So, Shishamo has to study very very hard. Go Go! Shishamo!!!! |