Recently, I read an article about being modern women in a very popular magazine, and watched an Asian TV show about being a guest in modern women's home around same time. It was a very interesting timing.
The article talked about how modern women have so much more power and freedom compare to our grandmother or even our mother, but that power and freedom still didn't give us the confidence that we should have. Instead, modern women are keep criticizing ourselves and being very hard on ourselves. It pointed out that maybe we, women, want to have too much in life. We all ideally want to be the beautiful, sexy, smart woman who is also a mom and wife with financial stable job, good cooking, home and children caring skill, plus great in bed. Not only that, but also being a great daughter, granddaughter, friends, colleague, neighbor, even loved by children who aren't our own. We want to have all!
And, the TV show is about a male host spending a night at a single woman's home. The host will judge the guest skill of the woman and the same time how well the woman does her house work. He will check the dust on the ceiling fan, the sediment on bottom of the shampoo bottle in shower, the color and taste of her homemade meal, the home decorations, etc. He also will test her by going to take shower and leave his clothes everywhere to see if she is good enough to know that she should pick them up and fold them for him. I told my husband Mr.Rabbit that I already fail in that slandered.
That made me think if we, women, really are free from the men's world.
I wrote an article few years ago in Chinese, talked about how I am a feminist who will let men do whatever men should do. I know I can do almost everything man can do, which my 3 years of being a single lady lived in strange country without anyone proved that. It is just my choice to do what man can do or being smart by using the power of woman and let man do what I want to do. It works. The power of being female. One of my dear friends, Mrs. kindgirl doesn't know how to use the power of woman, and she becomes her husband's wife and mother in a bad way. And she even stands on her big man ego husband's side and believe there is nothing good about being a woman. I wanted to slap her face to wake her up. Another of my dear friends, Miss Tiger always says to me that she doesn't need a man. But in real life, she is still searching for her Mr. Right every day.
For me, the happily married one who has no need to impress any man, who has a wonderful kind husband understand how to be a real man, I should know better and do better. But, I found myself worries time to time. I 'd worry about my weight, my age, my 30 something skin, my job, my money, my friendship, my future children, my image in front of the younger girls, the older ladies, the person who I don't even know. Not only worried and I tried to be the best I can be against my nature sometimes too. Makeup on every time to go the city, dress to impress with my own style, try to impress the younger people, be nice to the older ones, homemade meal, nails, hair, read more books to be smarter. God. No wonder I am tired every day.
And, look at how the appearance still so damn important for us? Miss Tiger, a beautiful girl weighed 115 lb at 5'0" height, dropped her weight to 105 lb but still talked about how she is on diet every time we have dinner together. Her beautiful check is gone, nice full breast is down, but she feel the fairest of all. Did we, women, made the rules? Or, the man? That's another topic which I can write another 10,000 words for. But I still remember that when the class of 15 people had to discuss that topic in first year college back to 1999, how a fat girl got so mad at man and strong pointed out it is the fault of man.
We might have no difference with our mother and grandmother when it comes to appearance. The three-inch bound feet and corsette waist just changed to big butt and huge breast on super skinny legs and waist. When do we have the power to be who we want to be, not who we think we want to be?
I am fortunate to grow up in a family with open minded parents and living in a country where woman might have the highest power compare to the rest of the world. Maybe I shouldn't question myself too much or ask too much questions. Because of that might be the problem of modern women after all. We want to know everything, we want to have everything.
The article talked about how modern women have so much more power and freedom compare to our grandmother or even our mother, but that power and freedom still didn't give us the confidence that we should have. Instead, modern women are keep criticizing ourselves and being very hard on ourselves. It pointed out that maybe we, women, want to have too much in life. We all ideally want to be the beautiful, sexy, smart woman who is also a mom and wife with financial stable job, good cooking, home and children caring skill, plus great in bed. Not only that, but also being a great daughter, granddaughter, friends, colleague, neighbor, even loved by children who aren't our own. We want to have all!
And, the TV show is about a male host spending a night at a single woman's home. The host will judge the guest skill of the woman and the same time how well the woman does her house work. He will check the dust on the ceiling fan, the sediment on bottom of the shampoo bottle in shower, the color and taste of her homemade meal, the home decorations, etc. He also will test her by going to take shower and leave his clothes everywhere to see if she is good enough to know that she should pick them up and fold them for him. I told my husband Mr.Rabbit that I already fail in that slandered.
That made me think if we, women, really are free from the men's world.
I wrote an article few years ago in Chinese, talked about how I am a feminist who will let men do whatever men should do. I know I can do almost everything man can do, which my 3 years of being a single lady lived in strange country without anyone proved that. It is just my choice to do what man can do or being smart by using the power of woman and let man do what I want to do. It works. The power of being female. One of my dear friends, Mrs. kindgirl doesn't know how to use the power of woman, and she becomes her husband's wife and mother in a bad way. And she even stands on her big man ego husband's side and believe there is nothing good about being a woman. I wanted to slap her face to wake her up. Another of my dear friends, Miss Tiger always says to me that she doesn't need a man. But in real life, she is still searching for her Mr. Right every day.
For me, the happily married one who has no need to impress any man, who has a wonderful kind husband understand how to be a real man, I should know better and do better. But, I found myself worries time to time. I 'd worry about my weight, my age, my 30 something skin, my job, my money, my friendship, my future children, my image in front of the younger girls, the older ladies, the person who I don't even know. Not only worried and I tried to be the best I can be against my nature sometimes too. Makeup on every time to go the city, dress to impress with my own style, try to impress the younger people, be nice to the older ones, homemade meal, nails, hair, read more books to be smarter. God. No wonder I am tired every day.
And, look at how the appearance still so damn important for us? Miss Tiger, a beautiful girl weighed 115 lb at 5'0" height, dropped her weight to 105 lb but still talked about how she is on diet every time we have dinner together. Her beautiful check is gone, nice full breast is down, but she feel the fairest of all. Did we, women, made the rules? Or, the man? That's another topic which I can write another 10,000 words for. But I still remember that when the class of 15 people had to discuss that topic in first year college back to 1999, how a fat girl got so mad at man and strong pointed out it is the fault of man.
We might have no difference with our mother and grandmother when it comes to appearance. The three-inch bound feet and corsette waist just changed to big butt and huge breast on super skinny legs and waist. When do we have the power to be who we want to be, not who we think we want to be?
I am fortunate to grow up in a family with open minded parents and living in a country where woman might have the highest power compare to the rest of the world. Maybe I shouldn't question myself too much or ask too much questions. Because of that might be the problem of modern women after all. We want to know everything, we want to have everything.