I am having a terrible mood since yesterday. I have been watching Japanese drama while making paper stars and crying, all 3 things at same time. The drama talked about a couple had to be speared by the WWII, they met again after 50 years. That kind of thing might only happen at that ear, right? I blamed myself while crying that I couldn't do a thing like that. The paper stars are for Mr.Carrot, Christmas's gift. Maybe this is the last Christmas's gift. I know he will leave me. He will go back to Japan. I have such bad luck with love, meant to be alone. Crying is for the uncertain future, I am scared to death. Scared, scared, scared,scared....scared to death. | 昨天从下午开始心情就一直不好。一个人在家边看日剧边折星星边痛哭流涕。日剧讲的二战的时候被迫分离的夫妻,过了50多年才再次相聚,这样的故事是否只有在那个年代才会发生?我一边哭泣一边责怪自己不是一个人,这种简单的执著我都做不到。星星是为正折的,圣诞礼物。也许也就是最后的一份圣诞礼物了。我觉得他还是会离开我,还是会回到日本去。我真是个被爱情诅咒了的女人,注定要一直孤独。哭泣是为了不明不白的将来,我恐慌至极。害怕害怕害怕害怕害怕害怕害怕害怕。。。恐慌至极。 |
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