Miss popular showed me few old pictures of me few days ago. I suddenly felt old. I am really getting old. I don't know what changed on me, but I can tell I am different. Even now I still have the same long hair as before, I still feel old. The lines around my eyes are more than before when I look into the mirror. I know why I am getting old, how many times that I had cried, and hoe many times my heart breaks in this past two years? After all the sadness, I should be old. The worry line between my eyebrows are not going anywhere. Even when I have no emotion in my heart, I still looked like I am worried about things. Maybe I should stop smoking. The fine lines are coming out on my forehead, looked like I am drying out. I remembered the French photographer who told me smoking age woman fast, the age of the skin will get old 6 years faster. Mr. Carrot talked about Miss popular, says he is worried for friend Mr. Nice, worried about Mr.Nice gets hurt. I rather not to think about all those complicated human relationship problems, wish I won't live to worried about what others' think . Mr. Carrot asked me:" Miss popular invited Mr.Nice to go clubbing with her. Why?" Why? I don't know why, I never heard it from Miss popular either. Mr. Carrot said Miss popular must be up on somethings. Really? I don't know. I rather believe Miss popular and Mr. Nice are just friends. Mr. Young should already get use to life without me. As long as he doesn't see me, he won't remember the past, he should be happy. That should be a wonderful thing. I believe it deeply, without me, Mr. Young is living very happy and his dreams will come true soon too. Sadly, I envy him. | 前几天,给真衣看我原来的照片时,忽然发现自己老了。真的老了。不知道到底是什么地方变了,但真的是老了。也许就算我现在有着和那是一样的长发,我依然会觉得说老了。在镜子里面,笑的时候,眼角的鱼尾纹真得很明显了。我知道为什么我老了,这两年来,我哭了那么多,伤心了那么多次。经历过这些,我老了也是应该的。双眉之间的那worry line已经成了我的标志了,即使在心中毫无感情的时候,我的表情却是一脸的担忧。我想还是把烟戒了吧,额头上的皮肤已经出现了很多细小的皱纹,看起来像是缺水一样。想起那个在soho遇见的法国摄影师对我说,女人吸烟老得很快哦,皮肤的年龄会老6岁。 正列说到真衣的事情,感觉他很担心友厚,怕友厚收到伤害。我真得不想去想那么多复杂的人际关系,希望能够不用担心他人的想法过日子。正列问我说:“真衣邀请友厚和她一起去clubing。为什么?”为什么?我不知道为什么,我也没有从真衣那里听到过这件事情。正列说真衣一定有什么目的;是吗?我不知道,我宁愿相信真衣只是单纯的想和友厚保持好关系。 猛已经习惯了没有我的日子吧。只要不见到我,不想起往事,就会快乐吧。那也何尝不是一样好事。我深深的相信,没有我,猛会过得很快乐,很幸福,他自己的梦想也会很快就实现。我真是又羡慕又伤感。 |
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