----While driving on the highway, an ambulance pass by from another side of road with emergency lights and sound on. “a...another life is passing away. The person might be diying in the ambulance. People say if you had death experience, and lucky you didn't die, you will be re-new agian. Sometimes, I wish for that kind of re-new, but also afraid of it.”
----Every time, when I went to 6th floor of library, I would watch the I-95 highway from the window. “So many cars always, never stopped. It make this boring city looks alive. Everyone seems has a place to go to, a things to do. But, why I feel so empty. Where am I going to? Can I get the final place? I know that BPT is not the final place for me. I am now like a person walk on highway, everyone can be faster than me, but I am walk step by step. Little by little close to my final place. When sushi chef said he doesn't know why he works so hard and make moeny for, he asked me if I know why I work hard and make money for; I just smiled, didn't answer. But I was saying to myself that:“yes. I know. I have a dream to make come ture.”
----Those days, everytime when I feel depressed or lose hopes, I tell myself that 私は夢がある、頑張ります。
Got cold....not bad cold, but I lost my voice, I can't speak out loud...I was thinking if I should went to work yesterday, but I need money ne. And, it is not good for the boss to lose one waiteress on Sat. Night. I couldn't go take the order, but I could help with other things.
Then, I found out why SMILE is important~!! When you lost your voice, then only way to show your friendly to others is SMILE. I couldn't talk to customes, but they all say "thank you" after I took out the dishes, add drinks or gave food. I only can give them a big friendly smile. It made me think why smile is important for others. Un...no one want to see a unhappy face, and smile can transfer to others. So, happy people will have more friends and others~~!!
Birthday past yesterday.
It was heavy snow, so quite outside, and I watched a dog play in the snow from my window. The dog looked so happy.
I didn't tell anyone it was my brithday yesterday. But still few friends remembered, thank you guys.
A year by year, I always had good wishes for new age, but I always lose what I was looking for. So, I lost my passion for brithday...chotto samishii brithday ne...
I miss u...
It is March already. Time past faster than I thought. February was busy month, but I could be more busy is fine too.
February's topics of the month were:
QUIT TO THINK ABOUT SMOKING. (Which I did it~!!!!)
STUDY AS MUCH AS I CAN (Which I found out it was not that easy..., i couldnt see any improvement...)
OVER COME MY DEPRESSIONS (Which I did for sometimes, and sometimes I couldn't...)
From March! I will keep doing those three topics and try to do better. Also, I will add another topic:
ONLY USE $200 A MONTH~~~!!!
(....it always hard when it comes with the money...: cell phone, gas & car , food, and I plan to go get hair-cut in NY....ma....maybe I should change to $250...OK!! NO MORE THAN 250 AND ONLY FOR MARCH.)
UN....try my best.
and the last topic of timeless:KEEP BEING A BETTER PERSON, AND LOVING YOU.be ready~!